Kali's Revenge

Leg Five: The Long Journey Home

 

Remember what I said about trains running on Delhi Time? Well, our limits were pushed when it came time to get back to Delhi. From the Mowgli Resort we crammed 7 people and their luggage into a jeep built for 5 people and no luggage and the drove the 45 minutes to the station. The roads were bumpy. My arms were numb. We managed to stay sane by playing the “Purdy White Things” game, which started as a joke making fun of the reactions white tourists have when they catch each other’s eyes in India. From there it developed into bashing British colonialist stereotypes, then moved onto rednecks punctuated with Conehead-esque laughs. It was hilarious, but I think you had to have been there to fully appreciate how utterly ridiculous we were.

The only cool thing about this train station

  Anyway, we arrived at the station to find out our train was going to be an hour late. In India that’s code for ‘The train will arrive whenever it feels like it’. Two hours later, the train pulled into the station and we leaped on. We had a time kicking out some free-riders who were sleeping in our bunks until the conductor showed up. Rather than booting them off the train, as I would have been happy to do considering their attitudes were awful, he made them work for their trip. We would see the same guy handing out pillows, blankets and other amenities throughout the duration of the ride.

 

After getting settled, we were exhausted and ready to sleep. That’s when the horror began.

 

I saw something scurry across the wall from the corner of my eye. Michelle started yelping and I almost had a panic attack right there. I leaned over from the top bunk and counted. I stopped counting at 9, even though I hadn’t numbered them all.

 

Cockroaches. Our cabin and probably the entire train were infested.

Not taken on the train, but this was basically my face for the next 17 hours.

  After my awful experience living in horrendous Leo Palace apartments, I no longer have any fear toward spiders.

 

Roaches, on the other hand, make me cry hysterically almost instantly.

 

Meagan donned a headlamp, people on lower bunks clawed their way higher, I fought back tears, we armed ourselves with shoes, looked at Judy with jealousy and pity (she was conked out from stomach medication), and decided not to turn off the lights at all. It was a long night. We survived, but I would rather have had what I learned was lurking on the previous train: rats.

 

Someone mused about what a third train might offer and we unanimously decided: bed bugs.

Waiting out our time in purgatory

  Once we arrived in Delhi (17 hours later), our BAMF driver Mr. Singh protected us from a horde of people waiting on the platform to beg, hawk and offer taxi rides. There was some last minute shopping and sightseeing, then some of us were off to fly home while the rest returned to the hotel.

 

New Year’s Eve was spent in the hotel room watching Inception and drinking Rum and Coke. Those of us who hadn’t left already were simply too exhausted to go out. And then there were the ‘can’t breathe this toxic air’ and ‘We have no idea where the party is at’ issues. You know what, it was for the best. You know why?

Happy 2012!

  New Year’s Day, the day I had two 6 hour flights ahead of me, I woke up with massive stomach issues. My digestive system hit the “abandon ship” button and my body readily complied.

 

Vomit in the hotel. Vomit on the road. Vomit in the airport. Vomit in the plane. What a great final gift from India, right?

 

I was utterly terrified that Japan would quarantine me for being sick, so I stopped in at both the Delhi and Kuala Lumpur medical rooms. I had fluids, anti-emetics, and a whole slew of other pills but they didn’t help. Luckily, the first flight was not full and I managed to score a row of 3 seats and sleep through the worst of it.

 

I felt like a steamrolled watermelon by the time we got to Malaysia, and my friend was worried about me so we had a wheelchair cart my sick bum across the airport. The flight to Japan was booked full, but by that point I had cleared out whatever evil bacteria was in my body.

Hey mom! You should have seen the other girl....

  After what seemed like an eternity, I finally reached Japan and they-Thank goodness!- didn’t quarantine me. Miss Maya rode with me all the way to Ryouta’s house in Kanagawa just to make sure I would be OK. His mom immediately took my dirty clothes and washed the India off of them after I got home and passed out.

 

A week later and my tummy is a little dodgy, but I’ve at least gotten most of my appetite back! It could have been worse; I could have gotten sick the first day instead of the last morning. Overall, the trip was rad and I don’t regret going. Would I go again? Hmmm, only time will tell.